


You Stole Me Away

by SweetVennum64



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:27:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetVennum64/pseuds/SweetVennum64
Summary: Damon realizes that maybe...just maybe...he can't live without his little witch.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 37
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a slow build and picks up right after Bonnie sacrifices herself in order to send Damon home from the prison world so he is still with Elena, but this is a Bamon fic so you know how it will end.
> 
> I'm using the basic storyline as a guide but this story has a mind of its own so read it as such. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, reviews are very much welcomed.

** I **

Damon’s eyes crack open and he groans, the air is crisp and he feels the wind brushing against his scalp, rustling his hair and making him shiver as he squints up at the sky and the fading sunlight disappearing over the horizon. The last sunrays make the clouds a burnt orange and he guesses it’s some time before dawn.

He’s in the woods. He feels the rocks and twigs digging into his back where he’s lying sprawled haphazardly under a maple tree, the pinky and ring fingers on his right hand feel broken and he grits his teeth against the sensation of the tendons trying to put themselves back together. There’s a tender feeling beneath his ribs, phantom pain of an arrow through the torso ring in the back of his mind like a bad dream.

“ _Bonnie…”_

He coughs, his mouth feels dry and there’s a burn, heavy and gritty in the back of his throat. Hunger. Bloodlust. A sensation he hasn’t felt in quite a while. One he definitely did not miss while being trapped on The Other Side.

The Other Side.

Bonnie.

The last thing he remembers is the feel of Bonnie’s skin, her tiny hand tucked inside his, warm and soft in contrast to his own, as they cradled the ascendant together under the moonlight. The overwhelming myriad of emotions running through his body as he looked down at her, the joy in her eyes while she prepared herself for the spell. Their ticket home. _His_ ticket to his brother. To _his girl._

He’d spent four months dreaming of getting out. Of being _alive,_ or some version of it anyway. Scenario on top of scenario rolling around in his head of how Elena would look at him, those big doe eyes frozen in shock as she tried to figure out if he was really _there._ How amazing it would feel to have her in his arms again…

And now it’s finally happened.

Now that he’s out, all he can seem to think about now is the pained look on Bonnie’s face when she was hurtled away from him with an arrow to the stomach. The tears in her eyes as she uttered the words that sent him away without her. The fact that, once again, she _sacrificed_ herself for him.

Guilt bubbled in his chest, an old friend never too far behind. He’d left her there alone and unprotected and he wants nothing more than to go back and bring his witch home. Nevermind the anguish and heartache he’d felt the entire four months of being stuck there and missing his family. He can’t help but be thankful that he’d had her there with him. They’d fought _constantly._ Her morals and his being stubborn would clash on a daily basis making it almost impossible for them to meet on even ground. But she’d kept him sane, she’d given him peace. Her heartbeat became his lullaby at night and now his world seems quiet and useless without it.

Damon was never big on hope or life lessons until he’d gotten stuck in The Prison World with her. She’d drilled it into his head over and over again whether he’d wanted to hear it or not until he had no choice but to give in to her. He always gave in to her. She always knew they’d get out, never wavered in her convictions. Turns out she was right.

Except he’s here and she’s not.

He imagines she’s dead now. Her lifeless body, cold and forgotten on that cave floor.

Slamming his eyes shut, he forces himself not to finish that train of thought. She’s _not_ dead. She can’t be. Kai’s too selfish for that. He’ll probably want to torture her. Make her pay for what she did.

He pounds his uninjured fist against the soft grass beneath him, rolling his head back and forth trying to get himself together. He smells dirt and moss and…decaying flesh. A cemetery.

Of all places the portal could have lead, and a cemetery is where he ends up.

Poetic.

The sun has faded to nothing and he exhales. How long has he been here? Where is _here?_

He sits up, ignoring the pain, well, everywhere, and for the first time, takes in his surroundings. He looks around and realizes where he is. The woods where he’d first met Elena, walking all by herself and completely unaware of the dangers awaiting her out there in the night.

None of that seems real anymore and every moment is reduced to nothing.

Standing up, he fixes his leather jacket into place and does his best to brush the leaves and dirt from his jeans, and makes his way to the road. He has no idea what to do next.

Initially, he’d planned on running straight into Elena’s arms and using the next week with her making up for lost time.

But now.

Now it just doesn’t _feel_ right. He can’t enjoy his second chance (thousandth chance if he’s keeping it real) if Bonnie isn’t here. He can’t do this without Bonnie. This isn’t how this was supposed to be. They were supposed to do this together. If anything, _she_ deserves to be here.

Leave it to her to rain on his parade when she’s not even around.

Fuck.

Standing on the edge of the blacktop, he gazes down the road. He wonders if he’s even really here. This feels like another Hell World, if he’s being honest. He’s still anguished, still sad, still alone. How the fuck did this happen? How in the hell does he get to be here?

He ends up in the dorms at Whittemore where Bonnie shared a room with Caroline. The bottle of bourbon he’d found hidden in Bonnie’s bedside drawer clutched between his fingers while he lounges on her bed, his back against the headboard and his feet crossed at the ankles. A picture of her smiling face framed in gold resting in his lap.

“Screw you.” He scowls down at the picture. “How _dare_ you send me back here without you?”

Taking a burning gulp from the bottle, he lets his head _thump_ against the wall behind him and closes his eyes.

“How fucking _dare_ you?...” He spits into the air.

He pictures her in his mind with her arms crossed and that familiar crooked smile that he equally loves and loathes, shaking her head at him and he can’t help let his own grin tug at the corner of his lips before he takes another pull from his bottle.

Leaning over just enough to fish his phone from his pocket, he scrolls through his contacts until he reaches her number. He stares at the familiar combination for a beat before he pushes the _call_ button and presses the phone against his ear. He doesn’t know exactly what he hopes to gain here other than torture as he listens to the phone ring.

 _This is Bonnie, leave a message!_ Her cheery voicemail mocks him and he has to bite his tongue to keep himself from crushing the phone into tiny pieces between his fingers.

At the _beep,_ he lets out a long, suffering sigh before he opens his eyes to stare down at her picture cradled in his other hand.

“Seriously?...” He says into the phone, his brow wrinkling. “That’s it? _That’s_ your outgoing message?”

He uncrosses his legs and turns to drop his feet to the floor, placing the photo face down beside him on her flowery, pink bedspread.

“I mean…the _one_ time that I’m actually _seeking_ the sound of your voice, _that’s_ what I get.” He rolls his eyes. “Figures.” He chuckles. “You were always such a tease.”

He exhales, running his fingers through his overgrown hair to push it back off his face. “Anyway…I just wanted to say…” He swallows. “That because of what you did, today is the day that I get to see Elena again. And I just…. _thank you,_ Bonnie. I…” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, gripping the phone a little tighter. “Fuck, I…I just. I want you here, Bonnie. I _need_ you here.” He chews on his bottom lip until he starts to taste blood. “I miss you…I miss you like hell.” Swiping his hand over his face, he sits up straight again. “And I’m gonna get you back. If it’s the last God forsaken thing I do. I’m bringing your stubborn ass back home…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up with Bonnie waking up alone and still stuck in the Prison World.

** II **

When she awakes, her entire body is on fire with pain. Her hand is clutched against her belly, sticky and cold with blood. Salty tears are dried on her cheeks and she forces her eyes to focus. Kai is nowhere to be found and the ascendant, which was shattered to pieces after Damon dropped it on his way out through the portal, is also gone.

She forces herself to her feet trying her best to ignore the fact that the entire world is spinning and her vision is blurred, nausea fighting its way into the back of her throat.

Taking off her sweater, she ties it tightly around her waist, trying her best to slow the flow of blood weeping from her stomach as she slowly climbs her way up and out of the mouth of the cave.

Mystic Falls Hospital is about five miles to her East and if she can make it there, she might survive this. With no idea where Kai disappeared to, she grabs the axe that she’d embedded into his chest earlier that day, and starts her trek back through the woods and to Damon’s Camero left parked on the edge of the road.

She’s alone. Stuck in a never ending time loop with a psycho and all she wants to do is laugh hysterically because this is her life. Or her _after_ life, rather.

How was she supposed to know that killing Kai wouldn’t stick? Every card she draws ends up in a shitty hand and an even shittier game. But she didn’t have a choice. Kai was heading toward the ascendant and the portal, and if he’d gotten his hands in it, she and Damon would have never gotten out and Kai would have been free to reign terror on the world.

She makes it to the hospital by sheer grace alone, her t-shirt and jeans are soaked and ruined, a bright red trail follows behind her, drawing a map right to her location all the way up to the Emergency department. She rambles through everything looking for gauze and bandages, needles and anything for the pain. Everything is a blur, its all a blur and the fact that she’s made it this far is thanks to adrenaline.

Her hands are shaking like hell and there is no way she’s going to be able to stitch herself up. She wants to cry, to scream, anything to make this all go away. Everything, all of her, is tired and drained but she refuses to give up. As long as she’s breathing she’s going to try. And she does. Up to the part where she just can’t anymore. She feels it when her body gives up, almost a relief when her legs buckle under her and she crumples to the ground, passing out in a pool of her own blood…

Waking is almost like a dream. She doesn’t even open her eyes at first. Images of her Grams and her flower garden still floating around in her head and she fights to hold on to them, a tiny smile tugging at her lips.

“It’s about time.” A familiar voice startles her.

Her eyes fly open and she sits up straight. The wound in her stomach pulls and she doubles over, hissing through her teeth.

“ _Easy_ there. You don’t wanna go ruining all my hard work.” Kai admonishes.

She’s back at the boarding house and the oversized couch would be a welcomed relief if she wasn’t sharing it with the guy who tried to kill her.

She lifts up her shirt to find that she’s been stitched and bandaged and she eyes Kai distrustfully. “How did I get here?” She asks, gingerly scooting away from him so that her back rests against the arm of the couch.

“Well _duh._ ” Kai smiles, leaning back and throwing his arm over the back of the sofa. “Me, of course. You didn’t think I’d just _leave_ you there all pathetic and bleeding to death now did you?”

At her look, he rolls his eyes and leans forward making her flinch. “Okay, fine. That does kinda sound like me.” He says. “ _But,_ with a third of our team now missing, I figure we gotta stick together, right?”

Being this close to him again makes her skin crawl. She feels her magic burning inside of her and nothing would give her more pleasure than to just burn him alive. “What exactly do you need me for? Couldn’t you just have stolen my magic and done the spell yourself?”

He sighs and stands, making his way behind her and over to the library before returning again, the ascendant clutched between his fingers. “Oh Bonnie. You and all your questions. So _cute.”_ He says, scrunching his nose. “You know exactly why I couldn’t just do it myself, you little jokester you.”

He tosses the ascendant into the air and catches it with one hand behind his back. “By the way…” he waves it in her face when he gets close enough again. “This thing was a _bitch_ to repair.”

He sits down on the coffee table across from her and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “All you need to know is that thanks to _me,_ we have a way out. So whaddaya say we quit all the chit chat, you go recharge your little whichy batteries for the spell and we can be on our merry little way, yeah?”

She’d give almost anything to get back home. _Almost_ anything. But Kai was put here for a reason. He tried to murder his entire family and the first thing on his to-do list if he gets out, is to finish what he’d started. She can’t live with herself if she lets that happen.

Taking a deep breath she crosses her arms, careful not to disturb her stitches, and looks him square in the eye. “You need a Bennett witch to do the spell.” She says, raising her brow. “And there is no way in hell I’m letting you out of here, Kai. Not without a fight.”

He looks a little surprised when he says “Aw come on, Bonnie! You wanna go back to your friends. I wanna go back and give the Gemini Coven an excruciating death. It’s a win-win!”

She stands up, her hand hovering over her belly, and snatches the ascendant off the table beside him before heading toward the door. “The answer… is _no_.”

“Ah, ah, ah, Ms. Bonnie.” He says, jogging over to her, bending her wrist back, and prying the ascendant from her fingers. “ _I_ put in the work of piecing this thing back together so I think that its only fair that I get to hold it for safe keeping.” He says before putting it inside his coat pocket. “Listen. I get it. You’ve had a very long, murderous, day okay? Why don’t you go get some rest and we’ll mull over the details in the morning. The eclipse is over for the day anyway.”

She rolls her eyes at him before grabbing Damon’s keys off the table in the foyer and heading out, slamming the door behind her.

At her Grams she takes a long, hot shower before making her a cup of tea and tucking herself into bed. And that’s when the tears finally come. She’ll figure another way out, she knows she will. But for now, she lets the comfort of her bed make her feel safe.

The quiet is what really gets to her. She misses Damon’s pancakes and his shitty 90’s music. She misses the way they’d bicker over Monopoly and having bourbon together on the couch after a long day. She misses Damon. Of all possible scenarios, she can’t believe it, but she needs him right now.

On top of it all. She misses life. She’s lived it to please and take care of others and she took for granted how precious her time really was. If not to get back to her friends, she _will_ find a way out of here to get back to living her life for herself. When this is all over, she will not let herself be used the way she has in the past. She will live her life the way she wants to. Nothing will get in the way of it this time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up back in "the real world" with Damon. Very brief Damon/Elena smut here, fair warning.

** III **

Elena’s got her arm slung low on his torso, her fingers twitching every so often in her sleep, tickling the skin at his waist. She’s still naked, the sweat long dried on her skin. Her hair is a tangled mess and she feels cool pressed against him, her head tucked in the crook of his neck, breathing softly.

When he’d finally made it to The Boarding House last night, it had been everything he’d imagined. And more. She’d jumped into his arms and hugged him so tight that he almost thought she was trying to bury herself in him. Burrow herself so deep so as not to lose him again. She’d cried and he’d cradled her face between his palms, kissing the salty tears away. Whispered _I love you’s_ and _I’m really here_ spill and dissolve between the two of them.

She’s hysterical after he tells her about Bonnie and about how she’s still a sacrificial martyr that needs a serious ass kicking, which he plans on giving to her the moment he brings her back home. It’s still a little sketchy, his plan, but he doesn’t tell Elena that because he doesn’t need to deal with her worry on top of his too.

He decides to leave out the gory details and alludes to some minor mishap of some sort, adds in a shrug or two for good measure because he’s a fucking monster and he’s very good at deceit. Also, if he’s being honest, trying to convince _himself_ that this will be a piece of cake because the alternative is just too damn depressing. So he assures her, looks her dead in her eyes, and _promises_ her that he will bring her best friend back to her. With conviction. The same way Bonnie had done to him. And when Elena exhaled and smiled, absolute and unwavering trust shining in her eyes, he knew he’d had her convinced.

Then things got very frantic, very quickly. Clothes were ripped to shreds, priceless furniture left ruined and broken on their way to the bed. It’s all a mess of limbs and lips. Hands pressing and roaming, lips sucking and biting every inch of bare skin, fangs digging in, and cries of passion tumbling into the air.

It was supposed to be perfect. Would have been perfect. Except.

Bonnie.

He couldn’t get her out of his mind. Buried deep inside the love of his life, her circling her hips on his neglected dick, and his mind couldn’t help but stray. If Elena noticed, she didn’t let on about it.

Even now, the morning after, he has everything he’s ever wanted, what he _thought_ he wanted, and as he stares up at the ceiling, images of mocha skin crowd his mind. Green eyes and a little button nose that scrunches when she’s being playful. Full lips that go crooked, just slightly when she smiles. Little tiny frame swallowed in his Skynyrd t-shirt because, in her words, it looks better on her anyway. And when she ties a little knot in the back of it so that it sits tighter around her torso, a little slither of belly peeking through, he has to agree with her.

He has a plan. Sort of. Since he’s short a witch, he can’t be too sure, but he’s thinking of a summoning spell. One that he remembers all too well from Bonnie’s grimiore back in the Prison World.

Usually getting restless and bored after dinner, he was always trying to come up with ways to distract Bonnie and he’d just been lounging on the couch with her book open in his lap, spitting out words and phrases, quizzing her on the spellwork. She’d warned him not to read from the second half of the book but, come on, she’s met him.

Half a dozen words later, and a Griffin, half lion, half eagle, is busting through the kitchen window and tearing up half the house before Bonnie’s able to put it down.

Needless to say, that particular game was put in the _no_ pile from then on.

The point is, a Griffin dates back to what? The 14th century? If he can _accidentally_ summon something like that, how hard can it be to summon Bonnie, right?

He gently lifts Elena’s hand from his waist and drops it to the mattress between them. Careful not to wake her, he slides out of the bed. She hums a little and stirs, her arm stretching out in search of him, but she doesn’t wake. Her breathing going soft and quiet again.

He’d just flipped on the coffee pot on the kitchen when he hears a familiar rumble outside. When he swings the front door open, his eyes go wide when he sees his 1969 Chevy Camaro, in pristine condition, parked in the driveway, his baby brother in the drivers seat smiling ear to ear.

“ _What?_ No way! _How?”_

 _“_ Well…” Stefan starts, opening the door to step out of the car. “You weren’t around for four months to _annoy_ me so…I had some extra time on my hands.” He walks toward his brother and dangles the keys at him. “Just think of it as a, um, early Merry Christmas/Late Welcome Back To Life present” He says before dropping the keys in his brothers waiting hand.

Damon grins, a real, genuine smile, and Stefan can’t help match it, pulling his brother in for a tight hug, for the millionth time since he’s gotten back home. Closing his eyes, he rests his forehead against his brothers neck, and just allows himself to take it in. He’s really here.

When he steps back, Damon’s cheeks are colored and he’s got a knowing look on his face.

“Do me a favor.” Stefan says, hands still resting lightly on Damon’s shoulders. “Don’t die again…” The words heavier than he’d meant them to be. “…because those fenders were a real bitch to find.” He adds just to put some leverage back on his side again.

Damon bites his bottom lip, smiles. “Promise…and. Thanks, Stefan.”

He nods, shutting his brothers drivers side door before following him back into the house and into the kitchen.

“So uh, how’s she doing?” Stefan points up, indicating the subject of his question.

Damon grabs the two mugs off the countertop and reaches one cup of blood-laced coffee across the island bartop to his brother who’s seated on the opposite side, before bringing his own to his lips to take a sip, leaning his hip against the counter.

“I mean, you know Elena. It was touch and go at first but I convinced her that I have a plan to get her best friend back. Safe and sound.”

“And _do you_ have a plan, Damon?”

“Of _course_ I do!” He says, and when Stefan raises his eyebrows he adds. “I mean, yeah, it’s probably not well thought out and a lot more complicated than I’m putting on but I work better on the fly. You know this.”

Stefan sighs and put his cup down before walking around the kitchen island to meet his brother on the other side. “Do you remember five seconds ago? You know. When I asked you _not_ to die again?”

Damon rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, Stefan. It’s just a summoning spell.”

“A summoning spell.” He deadpans. “What’s the catch, Damon?” Stefan presses, and knows he’s got his brother on the hook when he blinks and focuses his eyes somewhere over Stefan’s shoulder.

“There _is_ no catch.” He stalls, eyes flitting around the room before turning away from Stefan to put his cup in the sink.

“I know your ‘ _lying face’,_ Damon. Now spit it out.”

He huffs heavily through his nose before he strains his ears, listening for any sign of Elena’s consciousness. He presses the button on the blender so that it’s running at full speed before stepping in, bending his head toward his brother, and whispering. “I kinda have to…tap the power of my soul or something.” He says, shrugging one shoulder like it’s no big deal.

“You have to _what!?_ ”

“ _Shhhh!_ Jesus.” He whispers harshly. He switches the blender off before crumpling the sleeve of his brothers shirt between his fingers and speeding them both outside and a few hundred yards down the property line.

“Listen. It’s not that _bad,_ Stefan. I found a similar spell in Bonnie’s old grimiore back in the Prison World. I just figure we alter a bit here, add a little more witchy woo there. And _poof!_ Bon-Bon’s back in business.”

“Have you thought this through at all?" Stefan asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t you need Bonnie’s blood for the spell? Don’t you need a witch to perform the spell? Did you forget that you're technically _dead_ and don’t have an actual soul?

“Yes, Stefan. I have thought this out.” He says, a self satisfied grin on his face. “No, I don’t actually need Bonnie’s blood for the spell, just her DNA.” He ticks that one off by holding up one finger “And with the way that woman sheds, I’m sure I can find a few thousand strands of hair on a brush or something.” He holds up a second finger. “ _Yes,_ I do need a witch to do the spell and if I remember correctly, a certain Gemini Twin has had his little twinkly eye on you, Brother.” Damon says, waggling his eyebrows.

“You are _not_ about to use me as bait to hook Luke in on your crazy little plan. Nope” Stefan says.

“And _three”_ Damon continues, ignoring Stefan’s protests. “You’re right, I don’t have a soul. But what I do have, is _magic!_ A centuries worth of untapped Emily Bennett magic running through my veins and keeping me young and sexy for 175 years, just waiting to be used.”

Stefan shakes his head. “No. I’m not letting you do this, Damon. There’s another way. It’s too risky. I just got you back.”

He steps closer to his brother, resting his hands on his shoulders. “You don’t get a say in this, Stefan. Bonnie is the reason you got me back, okay? And there is no way in Hell I’m gonna stop short of trying any and _everything_ to bring her back too. So either help me or get the fuck out of my way….”

* * *

Long story short. The spell didn’t work, Damon almost died, he’s pretty sure Stefan has a date with Luke next week, and he’s still short a tiny stubborn witch.

This is going to take a bit more finesse and planning than he thought. He’s back to square one and he has no idea where to start now. Sitting in his library, he’s got every spellbook and translation novel they have spread out in front of him, alternating from one to the other, scribbling notes here and there when he finds something that maybe he can use.

Elena comes up behind him, sitting a glass of bourbon down on the table beside him before wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss to his temple. “Any luck?” She asks.

He exhales, squeezing her arm, before leaning into her. “Not yet. But I’m not giving up on her, Elena. I’ll get her back.”

“I know.” She says wrapping her arms tighter around him. “Caroline and me are gonna head to Whittemore in the morning to pick up the books Ric has. He thinks there’s some stuff in there about the Gemini Coven that we can possibly use.”

He nods and when he doesn’t offer anything else she stands up straight again, swiping a book off the top of his ever-growing pile. “Well, I’m gonna go do some more research of my own. Don’t stay up too late, okay.”

He assures her that he won’t and when she heads back up the stairs he sighs heavily, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table, burying his face in his hands.

“Come on, _Bonnie.”_ He growls. “Give me something, _anything_ to go on here.”

He’s practically begging the universe and he’s thankful that no one is around to witness it. He feels her absence like a missing limb and he wants to attribute it to the guilt but this pain feels deeper, hotter, and he doesn’t know what the hell to do with that.

Maybe he just got used to her being up under him every single day and every single night for four months straight and going from that to nothing at all can get to a man.

He wonders if she’s cold or scared.

She used to shove her cold fingertips under his shirt to punish him for keeping the air conditioner on 55 degrees and he’d get so pissed at her and she wouldn’t even care. Her being afraid of him had long since passed and she’d just giggle and laugh while he slapped at her hands and tossed a pile of blankets over her head.

He’d give anything for a moment like that right now.

Grabbing his glass, he downs his bourbon in full before pulling his next book toward him, and he gets back to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up with Bonnie in the Prison World.

** IIII **

It’s going on three weeks and she’s still stuck with Kai. He’d hidden the ascendant in a “secure location” after she’d tried to swipe it from the duffle bag full of Zima and Strawberry _YooHoo!_ he’d packed almost a month ago in anticipation of going home.

For her troubles, she’d ended up in a terrifying game of hide and seek where he’d chased her all over town and taunted her, listing _all_ the things he was going to do to her and her friends when he got out if she didn’t help him.

“Now it’s your choice, Bonnie.” He says, his voice calm as he paces back and forth in front of the closet he knows she’s hiding in. “I _will_ get out of here. With. Or without you. So you can accept my proposal, make it easy on both of us, and just do the damn spell.” He pauses right in front of the door, his shadow seeping under the crack and making her feel cold. “Or…” He pulls the closet door open, the air whipping her hair around her face and into her eyes. He squats down so that they’re eye to eye, Bonnie’s knees tucked into her chest, her arms wrapped around her shins where she sits on the floor. “Or, I can find my own little loophole, torture and kill you, and leave you here to rot.”

Tears are rolling down her eyes and her heart is beating out of her chest. For three weeks she’s been putting up with his antics. She’s been throwing her own punches, of course, but she’s just…over it. Tilting her head, eyes completely calm, she smiles while she bursts every blood vessel in his brain.

She sees his face go from smug to shocked pain. Not feeling an ounce of remorse, she watches blood pour from his nose and eyes while his limp and lifeless body finally crumples to the ground. Standing up, she steps out of the closet and over his body, leaving it in the middle of Damon’s bedroom floor, and goes down to the kitchen to make herself some lunch.

He’ll wake up in a few hours, unfortunately. She’s killed him a half dozen times since being trapped with him, and every single time, he comes back even more of an ass than the last. She knows he won’t kill her, not yet anyway, because he’s holding out hope that she’ll give in.

She’s tried finding the ascendant herself using Kai’s blood but he must have found a way to hide it from her tracking spells somehow. You don’t get to become a power hungry psychopath without brains and cunning.

She’s also tried alternate spells to see if she could get out on her own but nothing is working. Two days ago, she’d tried a teleportation spell that left her floating in a black hole for an entire twenty-four hours until the next eclipse passed for the day and let’s just say, that was a new, fresh Hell that she never wants to go through again.

When she isn’t dodging Kai or looking for another way out, she’s usually just…existing. Alone on the couch for hours at a time, staring into space. The Boarding House is entirely too big, echoes of Damon everywhere reminding her of his absence.

Their laughter filling every inch of the house on the rare occasions when they weren’t arguing and instead, just drinking their weight in bourbon and playing Twister. Well, it was usually mostly _her_ playing while Damon just lounged on his back on the floor next to the playing mat, moving the arrow to any color that would get her in the most compromising positions so that he’d have a reason to shout out every lewd response he’d had saved up in that perverted brain of his. Fingertips whisper over her feet and ankles or brush across her wrists when he’d help her move her right hand to blue, left foot to yellow.

It was weird at first, him touching her. She used to shy away from it or flinch, and she can’t be too certain, but she thinks his eyes went a little sadder each time it happened.

But eventually, it had just become second nature to them. Just checking in, making sure the other was still there and never too far away. Or when she _did_ need a break, fingertips pressing into his chest when she’d shove him away and storm out. Or him, wrapping his whole hand around her arm to tug her back.

Everywhere her eyes roam she has a story to tell. Of them and their time together, so she usually hunkers down at her Grams or even the old house she’d stayed in with her parents when they were together. But even that gets too depressing at times.

At almost two months in, she finally realizes that she’s not going to get out without taking Kai with her. Or at least making him _think_ she’s going to take him with her. So she comes up with her hundredth and final plan, hopefully, if all goes well.

“Fine. You win, okay?” She grits through her teeth when she finally finds him lounging in Stefan’s bed at the Boarding House, one of the Salvatore family albums open beside him.

“Hey. Did you know Damon’s mom was this _hot_?” He says, holding up the album and pointing to a picture of a smiling Lily Salvatore standing in a field of colorful flowers with Damon standing beside her, his little hand wrapped around her waist, an adoring look on his face as he stares up at his mother. “I’d love to get my hands on that.” He adds.

She rolls her eyes. “You’re a pig.”

He shrugs and sits up, closing the album and tossing it on Stefan’s bedside table. “Been called worse.” He says before picking up on her original statement. “Win at what, exactly? Do I finally get to see you naked?”

“Quit screwing around, Kai. You win. I’m ready to go home. And I’m taking you with me."

Squinting his eyes with suspicion he asks. “And what brought this new revelation along? I was beginning to think we’d get married and build a life here.”

“Truthfully? I’m sick of looking at your face and hearing your voice.” She says.

He lifts his brow, “Are you…are you _flirting_ with me, Bonnie?” He asks, standing and walking over to her. “Because flattery will get you _everywhere_.”

“Ugh. Just meet me at the cave at noon tomorrow.” She says before walking out of the room, closing the door behind her.

At her Grams house that night she gathers everything for the spell and places it in her bag along with a few books she’d taken from Damon’s library and her favorite Skynyrd shirt of his before sliding it under her bed. She smiles because she can’t believe it. She’s finally going _home!_

She gets to the cave an hour early with her candles, a few herbs, and she’s memorized the spell. All she needs now is the ascendant.

When Kai shows up, he’s wearing his backpack and a pager on his belt, a crazy grin on his face as he sips on his fruity drink. He checks her bags for any weapons and when he’s satisfied, he leans against a rock in the far corner and just watches her. She’s nervous and tries her best to ignore him.

“You know. I’m really gonna miss this. You and me. Together. All alone.” He says. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get a piece of this before we go?” He asks, gesturing at himself.

“Where’s the ascendant.” She asks instead of dignifying his question with a response.

He looks up through the mouth of the cave and grins. “Alright. Let’s get awkward.” He says, opening his backpack and pulling the ascendant out. “Now before you get any ideas here, Bonnie, just know that you’d be making a _monumental_ mistake if you try to screw me over with this.” He warns before handing it over to her.

She grabs it from his hand and they both stand in the circle of light together. She uses the pointy edge of the device to prick her finger, dripping her blood on the centerpiece. As she chants the spell, he watches her closely, his eyes burning into her own.

Her hands are clammy and she knows she’ll have to get the timing just right, and just before the sparks fly, she rams her knee between his legs making him buckle. Careful not to drop the ascendant, she takes a diving leap toward him and shoves a mouth full of paralytic herbs into his mouth that she’d kept hidden in her coat pocket.

He wraps his fingers around her neck and squeezes so tight that she’s struggling for air.

“Let me _go!”_ She’s trying but he’s so strong. She sees the light shifting above them and knows her window is closing. She feels his hands start to loosen around her neck which means the herbs are starting to kick in. He’s using his legs and his feet to kick her and try to hold her in place so that she can’t get away but the herbs work fast. His body is getting weaker so she does her best to pry his fingers from her throat while also trying to keep the device out of his reach.

He finally goes still, and she can untangle herself from him and she stands. He stares up at her with so much anger in his eyes that it makes goosebumps raise and prickle all over her skin despite the humidity in the air. The herbs only work for a few minutes but its enough time for her to grab her bag, and his.

“Bonnie! Don’t you dare! Don’t you fucking dare!” He shouts, his eyes following her as she makes a leaping dive back into the light and as she’s sucked up and through the portal with the ascendant in hand, she hears his murderous screams fading behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's home! How does she deal?

** IIII I **

She hadn’t planned on going straight to Damon when she’d gotten home, but as it stands, the Boarding House is her first stop. It’s dark and quiet when she arrives, but it’s not the same kind of quiet she’d experienced on the Other Side.

The rustle and bustle of the world around her crowded her the entire drive over. Horns honking and people moving about. The world did, in fact, go on without her. Not that she was expecting a Welcome Party or anything, but it would have been nice to have been greeted by at least one familiar face.

Upstairs, she makes her way into Damon’s room, dropping her bag on his bed, she searches through it until she pulls out a pair of black leggings and her favorite shirt. Grabbing the bottle of bourbon sitting on Damon’s desk, she heads to the bathroom for a hot bath.

There is no urgency for a change. No one after her and no one to fight for, yet her body is still tense with undercurrents of unused energy that she can’t seem to shake off. She takes a deep breath, letting Damon’s eucalyptus bath oils lull her mind as she leans to rest her back against the cool porcelain tub. The water is the perfect temperature and seems to envelop her from the inside out, so she sinks a little deeper, allowing it to cover her shoulders and tickle around her neck, loosening her up and making her exhale and hum. Add a few glasses of bourbon and she’ll be pliant and sated in no time.

Fully dressed and still alone, she gets to the kitchen, bare feet tapping softly against the hardwood floors, and somehow, ends up standing in front of the griddle with a bowl of pancake batter clutched between her fingers. She moves on autopilot. The bourbon running through her blood giving her a dazed calm that washes over her and makes her numb to the thoughts that have been plaguing her since she got back.

She wonders where everyone is and how they’re doing. If they’ve moved on with their lives, accepting that they won’t see her again. If Damon even tried to look for her. Or even if he cares. She knows that they’d bonded while stuck together and she’d like to think that he at least cares if she’s okay or not. She doesn’t know what she’d expected upon her arrival. Any sign that would show that she was missed in this world? That her absence meant something of a catastrophe amongst her friends? For a split second, she actually thinks about it. Letting them think she’s never coming back. It would be so easy, so simple, to just gather up her things and disappear. No obligations and no expectations.

And she still may consider it. But not like that, her conscience isn’t set up that way. She wants to see her friends again. Hear their voices and hug them first, and then, what she does after that is yet to be determined.

Before she realizes it, she’s flipping the last pancakes onto the plate waiting on the counter when she hears the front door open and close. Her heart almost freezes and seizes in her chest because she _knows_ it’s him. Footsteps slow to a stop. Pause for just a second, before picking up and hurrying in her direction, heavy and commanding.

“Bonnie?”

She hears her name on his lips just before his face appears in the doorway, his icy blue eyes wide with disbelief. He’s all but holding his breath, afraid to move an inch, lest it be a dream.

“The one and only.” She smiles.

His breath tumbles out of him along with every ounce of energy he had. Leaning against the doorframe like it’s the only reason he’s standing, his shoulders sag with relief. He blinks his eyes slow, like his lashes weigh a ton, his mouth parted and wet, lips trembling.

When he lifts his arms, spreading them wide, she doesn’t hesitate before she’s running toward him. He lifts her easily, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling her in close, tucking his nose in under her ear. She wraps both arms around his neck and can’t hold back her joyous laugh.

“Oh my _God,_ you _made_ it...” He whispers against her skin. “You’re _here…”_

He pulls her in impossibly closer, rocking them back and forth, and just lets her scent drown him, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of her again, safe and sound in his arms.

It could be seconds or minutes, or hours, she doesn’t know. But eventually he starts to move, still holding her a little too tight and making his way to the sitting room. When he gets to the sofa, he bends to place her gently onto the cushions where she tucks her legs beneath herself. He sits down next to her, and they just stare at one another, neither knowing what to say or do.

His eyes are still wide, a sense of wonder and awe hidden behind unshed tears and he finally just says the first things at the top of his mind. “How?...Wh… _When_?” He’s still speaking in hushed tones, his brow wrinkled. He doesn’t seem to know where to put his hands, resting on her knee at first, then sliding up her arms to knead at her shoulders, before he decides to rest them in his own lap, his knuckles turning white when he clenches them into fists.

“A few hours ago.” She murmurs, trying her best not to cry again. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

He nods, licking his lips and drops his eyes to her trembling hands. He wants so badly to hold her but he’s not sure if that’s what she wants right now so he refrains.

“And Kai?” He asks, anger flashing in his eyes when he says the name. When she shakes her head slowly, his eyes go surprised. “You killed him?”

“No. I just…” she starts, fiddling with the hem of her tshirt. “I just…kinda…double crossed him, I guess.” She finishes.

She’s trying her best to hold it together because all she wants to do is lay her head on his shoulder and cry for hours but she can’t do that now. This isn’t like before. When it was just the two of them. They’re back in the real world and in the real world, crying on your best friends boyfriends shoulder is no longer a thing that she can do.

“So is he gonna come after you now?”

She sighs. “I…I don’t really know. I don’t think so. I have the ascendant, so without that it’s gonna be pretty tough I guess.”

He pauses and just looks her over, looking for any hurt, any pain he can soothe. Anything he can do to make himself useful.

“How are you doing?” He asks, his eyes burn into her own.

She doesn’t know why but that’s the question that breaks her. She’s not fine. She literally went through hell and back and she did it all alone so when the tears start to fall she doesn’t even try to hide it, lets them flow freely down her cheeks while her breath hitches.

He can’t help it anymore so he grabs her and easily puts her in his lap pulling her close again, running his hands through her hair. “ _Shhhhh…”_ he whispers into her hair. “You’re okay. I promise. You’re okay, I _got_ you. He’ll never get to you again, Bonnie. I swear.”

Crumpling his shirt between her fingers and resting her head on his chest she just cries and cries, letting his promise run in a loop in her mind. And he just sits there soothing her with his hands on her back and shoulders as long as she needs it and when she’s all cried out he pulls her back just enough to see her face, using his hands to brush her hair behind her ears. She’s actually _here._

“Want your pancakes now?” He asks, a tiny smile pulling at his lips.

She giggles, wet and surprised, and nods, letting him lace their fingers together as he leads her back to the kitchen.

He settles her at the table and drops a kiss on her forehead before he heads over to the counter for her plate. She lets herself find comfort in his presence, watching him as he fiddles around in there, pouring orange juice and finding the syrup. The half-smile pulling at his lips makes her feel warm and for the first time since she got back, she feels like she’ll survive this time.

“I was starting to think that I’d never see you again.” He says, seated across from her at the table and watching as she swipes her fork back and forth through the strawberry syrup left on her plate. “I tried, Bonnie. We _all_ did. We tried everything to get you back.”

When she meets his eyes, she’s struck by the look of sadness she sees there. “I know.” She smiles, and even though her answer isn’t entirely true, the look of regret in his eyes lets her know that he isn’t lying.

Shaking his head, he says. “I failed you.”

She drops her fork to her plate and reaches across the table to grab his hand. “You didn’t give up.” She says. “That’s more than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you.” She whispers.

He smiles at her but his eyes still don’t hold the same light and fervor that she’d been missing all this time and he grips her hand a little tighter.

Hours later, she’s tucked in his bed and sleeping soundly. He can’t make himself leave her alone so he sits there on top of the blankets with her, his back resting against the headboard, the tv playing softly in the background. His eyes roam her tiny frame and he wonders what it was like for her, stuck there with Kai. He’s angry at himself for not being the one who brought her home and he will live with that. But he can’t help thank his lucky stars that he has her back. She’s here, within arms reach, and he doesn’t know if he can let her out of his sight again.

Elena comes in around midnight. She’d been up at Duke University with Ric following a lead, and Damon hadn’t even thought to call her when he’d found out that Bonnie was home. He does feel a little guilty but he’s selfish at heart and having his time with Bonnie, uninterrupted, was at the forefront of his mind at the time.

When she enters his bedroom and sees Bonnie sound asleep on his bed, her eyes go wide and confused. “Bonnie?!” She shouts.

He does his best to try to contain her but she’s over the top with joy, jerking Bonnie out of her sleep, eyes heavy with exhaustion.

“Elena!” She screams, flipping the blankets back and running into her best friends arms. And the tears start all over again.

Damon knew he’d have to share her with the rest of the crew eventually but he can’t help but feel a little twinge of jealousy at that fact.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Hope you're still here!

** IIII II **

Two weeks in and she still can’t get used to life as she once knew it. She’d dreamed of home for _months_ and now that she’s here, she doesn’t know how to handle it. Caroline has talked her into going to the movies and out to eat a few times and she’s definitely enjoyed being with her best friend again but it’s like she still can’t let herself fully relax. She’s never really all the way in it. Zoning out or just plain disconnected from reality.

Deep down in her gut where she doesn’t like to visit often, she knows it’s because part of her knows that this, her life here in Mystic Falls, is temporary. There is nothing left for her here. Her father’s dead and her mom’s in the wind. Damon has Elena, Caroline has Tyler, and Bonnie’s just going through the motions. She doesn’t want to get too attached to whatever this is because eventually, she’s going to part ways with it. With them. And it sucks but it’s necessary. For her sanity and for her happiness.

Most days she’s home, alone, and it reminds her of her time back in The Prison World so she distracts herself with cooking or practicing spells. Or researching new parts of the world that she wants to visit someday. There are three suitcases packed and ready in the back of her closet and every time she thinks about it, her heart gives a little flutter of anticipation because she’s scared but also excited to explore and actually live her life for a change.

And then she thinks about Caroline. Extravagant and neurotic to no end. The way she clung to Bonnie’s hip when she’d first gotten back had surprised her. Always coming over to check on her or bring her food and her favorite movies to watch. Listening intently as Bonnie described the months she’d spent in the Prison world with Kai. The sadness that had shown in Caroline’s eyes when she’d heard some of the things Kai had done to her will echo in Bonnie’s head forever and she’s trying to prepare herself for that same sad look when Bonnie tells her that she’s leaving. For good this time.

Or Elena. Her danger-magnet of a best friend. Her oldest friendship to date, and when she thinks about their life together it gives a little twinge in her chest. Although she’s always played the Robin to Elena’s Batman, she never resented her friend for it. She never felt any ill will having to swoop in and save the day. Because that’s who Bonnie is at her core. Dependable. The safe bet. The underdog who doesn’t get the credit. And she can still be all those things. But from a distance.

Damon. A tornado that she never saw coming. It’s the only way she knows how to describe him. He blew into town without warning and she did her best to stay out of his path but somehow he swooped her up, right into his core, and she’s been floating in a sea of debris ever since. Never would she have imagined that he would be considered a friend, let alone a _best friend._ But here she is.

When she’d gotten back home she’d expected him to congratulate her for getting herself out and then go on with his life, leaving their friendship a thing of 1994. The calls and texts checking up on her almost daily wasn’t a thing she’d expected, but it was a welcomed relief knowing that the bond she’d felt was reciprocated. She can admit that she loves Damon. But she’s always loved him at a distance because being trapped alone with him opened her eyes to the fact that he could consume her if she let him. Loyalty is one of Damon’s most noticeable qualities, but from the outside looking in, it comes off as murderous rage. There is no line that he won’t cross if it means protecting someone he cares for and she had a chance to learn that first hand for a change. It was strange at first, being one of the few people Damon considered as off limits to any threat against her. The way he’d growl when Kai got too close to her. Or the fact that when they’d discovered that they weren’t alone in The Prison World, he would no longer let her go off alone or even sleep alone. She’d spent countless nights sharing his bed, tucked tightly against him. Or when he’d gotten under her skin and she’d insisted that she sleep in her own room, she’d wake up to find him asleep on the floor next to her bed, his back resting against her night table. She never wanted to look too deep into that because its dangerous. Letting your guard down around Damon could mean death and destruction. But he’d proven himself to her without even trying. He’d let her know that he had her back and for that, she’ll be eternally grateful.

She goes to The Boarding House often, sharing a bottle of bourbon with him and reminiscing over old 90’s movies and it’s fun. It reminds her that her time in The Prison World wasn’t _all_ bad. Damon has a way of turning a traumatic situation into pleasant memories and she can’t be mad at that. But then Elena comes home and the spell is broken, back to reality.

Damon always seems confused when Bonnie removes herself where their bodies are intertwined, dancing to the Smashing Pumpkins, when Elena walks in. Maybe it’s because Damon sees it as innocent while Bonnie knows it means something different for her. She can’t place it even if she tried. She just knows that when he drops his hand low on her waist and pulls her body flush with his own, whispering things in her ear as they sway to the beat of the music, her body burns with anticipation. Anticipation for what, exactly? She doesn’t know. It’s a slippery slope that she doesn’t care to tumble down if she can help it.

She’s meeting up with Caroline and Elena today for brunch at The Grill and she’s anxious. Every day she thinks that today is the day she’ll pack up her car and speed down the highway with the wind in her hair and the music turned to the max. Whether today will be the day she makes it reality, she hasn’t decided yet.

For now, she focuses on getting dressed. Pulling on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans and a black crop top she searches the room for her black heeled booties. After she’s fully dressed, she goes into the bathroom and eyes herself in the mirror. Her hair has gotten so much longer than she’s used to. Caroline cut layers into it last week so that it frames her face and cascades midway down her back. She opts for a nude lipstick and when she finishes up, she grabs her green duster sweater and heads for the door.

It’s just after 11 am so the lunch crowd hasn’t quite made it to The Grill. She finds Elena and Caroline already seated in a booth at the far corner. Their faces light up when they see her enter and they wave her over. They’ve already ordered a basket of bacon fried donuts and a round of mimosas. She takes a seat next to Elena. Caroline reaches across the table and squeezes her hand when she settles.

“Bonnie! You look radiant, girl. I told you those layers would put your _sexy_ at a whole new level.” Caroline gushes.

Bonnie giggles, squeezing her best friends hand before releasing it to take a sip of her drink.

Elena scoots closer to her and rests her head on her shoulders. “So glad you made it! I didn’t think you’d come.”

She feels warm inside, being here, enjoying the fact that she can just _be._ The fact that this isn’t a meeting to discuss the next threat or to devise a plan of attack. A date with friends. With her family. There’s nothing like it.

She smiles at her friend. “I’d never leave you hanging.” She says, leaning her cheek to rest on her friends head.

“Seriously, Bonnie?” Caroline says, her eyes squinted. “Your two best friends are vampires. You can’t lie to us.”

Bonnie frowns, takes a sip of her drink. “What are you talking about?”

Elena squeezes her hand where she’s got their fingers intertwined beneath the table.

“We’ve noticed the distance and the spacing out.” Caroline explains. “We know it’s been rough for you, Bonnie. But you’re back! We just want you happy. It’s time to start living!”

She knows that tone. She’s heard it enough times over the past few weeks. It’s Caroline’s voice of coercion.

Bonnie eyes her friend suspiciously. “What are you getting at, Caroline?”

“Just so you know, I fought her on this.” Elena chimes in.

Caroline gives Elena a sour look before she focuses her attention back to Bonnie. “It’s just one little party. To get your feet wet and get you back into the groove of things.” She says, her eyes pleading.

She knows Caroline means well because she doesn’t like to see any of her friends suffering and Bonnie loves her for it. But Bonnie’s not sure she’s ready for a party. Hell, she can barely sit in The Grill with a handful of people without feeling overwhelmed.

She sighs. “Caroline…”

“Wait. Before you say no. It’s just a small dorm party at Whitemore. No more than twenty or thirty people. And we’ll be by your side the entire time!”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Bonnie.” Elena soothes her, running her thumb back and forth over her wrist.

Caroline pouts and Bonnie can’t help the smile that spreads across her lips. She rolls her eyes but grins at her friend across the table. “ _Fine!”_ She chuckles. “But if I end up scorching some douchebag with my magic, you’re on cleanup duty.” She says, pointing her finger at her friend.

“Deal!” Caroline agrees immediately, squirming in her seat like a toddler. “Yay! The trio is back in business!” She claps her hands together. “Next stop, the mall! We’ve gotta look _hot!”_

Bonnie opts for a simple black, strapless bodysuit that hugs her curves, and six inch platform stiletto pumps to match. She eyes herself in Elena’s full length mirror, turning this way and that, making sure the soft fabric sits on her form perfectly. Caroline styled her hair in loose curls so that they cascade gently over her shoulders and she fluffs it in the mirror, brushing it back off her face with her fingers. The diamond choker and matching stud earrings her Grams gifted her on her sixteenth birthday complement her outfit perfectly.

She’s all a mess of nerves when she sits down on Elena’s bed and just breathes. It’s just a party, she reminds herself. Just relax and take it easy, she repeats over and over in her head while she lets the sound of Elena and Caroline bickering in the adjoining bathroom while applying their makup and finishing up their final looks calm her.

The sound of her phone buzzing on the bed next to her startles her. Picking it up she sees Damon’s number and her heart lurches. She grabs the phone and heads out of the room and downstairs for some privacy.

When she makes it to the living room she slides her thumb across the screen to answer the phone and presses it to her hear. Before she can even speak, she hears Damon’s voice, low and teasing on the other end.

“Ahhh, she answers…” He drawls.

Giggling, she sits propped up on the arm of the sofa and wraps her other arm around her waist, hugging herself.

“Shut up.” She smiles. “What is it?”

“I can’t check in on my little witch?” He asks, an innocent tone in his voice.

“I’m fine, Damon. I promise. You don’t have to keep checking on me every five minutes.”

He’s quiet for a moment and she listens as he breathes softly on the other end before he says. “You sure?”

She hasn’t been able to lie to him for a long time now. He listens to her heart and her breathing patterns. Watches the way her eyes shift and when she fidgets. He pays attention to her every emotion and it makes her feel raw and exposed. So she just decides to tell the truth.

“I _will_ be…eventually…” She admits.

“It’s really that bad, huh?” He hums. “You know. You really don’t have to go to this party tonight. I’ve got Chinese menus from every restaurant in town and _Boy Meets World_ cued up on Netflix. We can make a night of it. You and me. Just like old times.”

Her whole body goes hot and she wants nothing more than to drown herself in Netflix and Damon but she knows she can’t. It would lead to more attachment issues and more heartache so she just exhales and bows her head.

“As tempting as that sounds, Caroline is right. I need to start living my life again, you know? I have to do this for _me._ Or else, I really will go crazy.”

She can feel his brain going at a hundred miles per hour and she can’t help but revel in the fact that he’s worried about her.

“I get it. You’re stuck on me, Bon. Don’t fight it.” He says, teasing in his tone. “I’m like a fever you can’t shake. Give in. Come on over to the dark side. You can be my sexy sidekick.”

Covering her mouth, she tries her best to cover her laugh. “Yeah Damon, you’re like a disease…” She pauses. “You know…it’s actually weird that I miss you. Our time together.”

He chuckles. “Tell me about it.”

She hears Elena and Caroline making their way down the stairs and she stands. “Look. I gotta go. I’ll text you when I make it back home, okay?”

“Bonnie.” His tone goes serious. “If you feel like you’ve had enough and wanna get out of there. Call me. Okay? I’ll be right there.”

She smiles. “I know. Talk to you later.” And she ends the call just as her friends round the corner and into the living room.

“Wow! Look at you two!” Bonnie says.

Caroline opted for a red spaghetti strapped ruched side midi skirt and red strappy heels to match, her hair pulled up in messy curls. While Elena opted for a deep purple skater skirt and black bodysuit with knee high boots.

“Like I said. _Hot!”_ Caroline says, spinning in a circle and posing like the next Covergirl.

Everything starts out okay at first. The music is amazing and she sees a few familiar faces from town and she thinks that she can do this. They all make their way into the kitchen for spiked punch and scope out the scenery while they sip on their drinks together. Caroline points out a few people from her classes and tries to catch Bonnie up on the drama she’d missed around campus and Bonnie just nods and tries to keep up.

“Oh! There’s Ian!” Elena shouts over the music. “I’m gonna go say hi, be right back guys.” She says, sitting her drink on the counter before making her way through the crowd and over to her classmate.

“So, what do you wanna do first? Caroline leans over, talking low in her ear. “We can dance. Or…” She points over to a room in the far corner. “We can head over to the stoners pit, blaze a little?”

Bonnie scrunches her nose at that. She’s not sure she’s ready to be high in a room full of strangers. “Yeah, lets dance.” She says, taking Caroline’s hand and letting her lead her over to the dance floor.

The punch she’d drank has her feeling buzzed and pliant and she moves her hips easily when they make it to the center of the room. Caroline cheers her on as they twirl each other around and laugh. She feels really good. Better than she thought she could, and she loves it. She let’s Caroline lace their fingers together and guide her as they spin and dip, moving to the sounds of the music and joy around them.

She closes her eyes and gets lost in the mix of things until she bumps into someone, hard and unyielding. Opening her eyes she’s met with someone’s chest, sweaty and slick. “Oh..sorry.” She mumbles, looking around to find Caroline all the way across the room, chatting with some girl animatedly. She tries to push past the guy and get back to her friend but he grabs her arm, holding her in place.

“No worries, little lady.” The guy smiles, raking his eyes over her body. “Wanna dance?”

Her skin crawls but she tries to keep it off her face and plasters on a smile. “No thanks. I was just…looking for my friend.” She says, trying to pry her arm from his grip.

“Whoa.” He says. “What’s the rush? This is a party. Loosen up.”

“Look. I’m not interested, okay? Now let me go, please.”

He frowns and her stomach dips. “What’s with you?” He squeezes her arm a little tighter. “I said…loosen up.” He says before pulling her in and against his naked torso.

She blacks out then. Images of Kai chasing her and invading her space and torturing her crowd her mind and she loses control. In the back of her mind she can hear the guys voice, low and anguished over the music and when she finally comes to, his hand is scorched, red and blotchy, and he’s backing away from her with fear in his eyes.

She has to get out of here. She doesn’t know why she thought this was a good idea. Making her way over to the front door, she pulls her cell out of her purse and dials the first person that comes to mind.

He doesn’t ask any questions when he pulls up to the curb where she’s waiting. When she opens his passengers door and plops down in the seat, his eyes rake her body and he licks his lips. Eyes looking almost.. _hungry_ but he stays quiet. He has a bottle of water and a blanket waiting for her and she can’t be more thankful. She kicks off her shoes and snuggles the blanket close to her, cracking open the water and taking a long swig. He’s got a soft look in his eyes as he watches her settle in his seat comfortably, like she belongs there. He puts the car in drive and gladly takes them away. They’re halfway there before she realizes where they’re going.

“What are you doing? I thought you were taking me home?” She says, confused.

“Yeah right. You were hysterical when you called me. You think I’m just gonna leave you at home to stew? No. You’re sleeping at The Boarding House tonight. We’ve got plenty of space and I can keep an eye on you.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not a child, Damon. I can take care of myself.”

“I _know_ that. The guy who’s hand you melted knows that. But humor me, okay?”

She sighs but doesn’t fight him on it, letting a small grin tug at her lips. When they get to the house, she’s fallen asleep and he gets her out of the car and cradled in his arms before she wakes. She hums sleepily as he carries her to the door, her shoes clutched in his hands. He puts her down so he can grab the keys from his pocket and let them in and she leans against his side, still only half awake. She goes straight to the guest room and hops in the shower letting the warm water and steam cleanse her of the disastrous night. When she exists the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around her, she finds a pair of her sleep shorts and one of Damon’s black t-shirts laid out on the bed and she tilts her head and laughs.

She dresses quickly and heads downstairs to find her phone. Caroline and Elena must be worried sick. 

“Hey, have you seen my -“ She stops short as she rounds the corner to find Damon sitting on the couch with containers of fried rice and lo mein spread out on the coffee table. Damon’s wearing a self satisfied grin on his face and she can’t help match it. He picks up a half full tumbler of bourbon and extends it to her. She makes her way over to him and grabs it from his fingers before taking her place beside him on the couch. Waving her phone at her before placing it back down on the coffee table, he finishes her thought for her.

“I texted Elena while you were in the shower.” He says popping the last bits of egg roll in his mouth. “Everything is good.” He grabs the blanket he’d had thrown over the back of the couch and spreads it out in her lap and over her legs before settling back and tucking her against him, his arm resting on her shoulders.

“Thanks…” She says, taking a sip of bourbon and smiling up at him.

“Told ya I’d take care of you.” He says.

Grabbing up the remote, he flips on the tv and she snuggles into his side and just lets herself enjoy the peace and quiet.

He pulls her in closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before he exhales. “My stubborn little witch…” he whispers with a fondness.

She tries not to react to it but she can’t help the stutter in her heartbeat. She just has to hope he doesn’t notice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this story so far. Reviews are my food.

** IIII III **

When he’d come home and found Bonnie in his kitchen alive and well almost a month ago, complete and devastating relief still isn’t an accurate description for what he’d felt. It was like the weight of the universe had been lifted off of his shoulders and he’d finally been allowed to surface for air.

Getting her back had been at the forefront of his mind the entire time, consuming him and making everything else around him irrelevant. He still attributed it to guilt because he didn’t know how else to describe the feeling. The fact that having Elena in his arms again meant _nothing_ to him when he knew what Bonnie had to be going through trapped there all alone. The fact that he’d failed her again and if he could have, he’d have traded his freedom to go back there with her, no second guessing and no hesitation.

It wasn’t lost on him the way everyone had looked on with muted shock as he practically ripped Mystic Falls and neighboring towns apart looking for any answer that would bring Bonnie back and he couldn’t blame them for questioning his motives or his obsessive need to get her home because they weren’t there to see the relationship develop into something neither of them were quite ready for, but they latched on to it all the same.

They’d been so far from friends when they’d gotten trapped together that they’d spent the first few months on opposite sides of their empty world, only coming together when one of them had found something useful. And now that they’re back in the real world, he doesn’t know how to make his brain stop itching whenever she’s not around and he can’t confirm with his own two eyes that she’s safe.

He’s a little excessive with the calls and pointless texts, but she’s been pulling away from everyone, slowly but surely, he’s noted the far off look in her eyes and the fact that she _rain checks_ him more times than not now. And maybe Elena and Caroline deal with rejection a little better than he does because his former prison mate avoiding him isn’t sitting right in his chest.

When she’d first gotten back, they’d had an unspoken ritual. She’d come over with a mystery bag filled with things that would tell a story about their time alone on The Other Side. Or little gag gifts that meant something that only they’d understand, and they’d make a night of it. He’d be in charge of food and bourbon, and they’d take turns picking the music. It had gone on like that almost daily and each time she’d show up with those bright eyes and blinding smile, it had felt to him, like something slotted back into place.

But then Elena would get home from classes and Bonnie would freeze up on him, making any excuse to get out of there.

“I’m not _running,_ Damon.” She’d said to him two weeks ago when he’d walked her to her car. “Elena just got you back and I’m just trying to give you guys some space.” When he offers nothing more than a squinted glare, she adds. “Just call me later, okay?” Before reaching for the drivers door handle.

Just before she’s about to pull it open, he spins her around so that her back is resting against the cool metal, and steps into her space, resting his hands on her shoulders. His gaze was searching and uncharacteristically serious when he ducked his head to catch her eyes. “And I just got _you_ back.” He says, his tone heavy with emotion. “Can you blame me for wanting you here?” He squeezes her shoulders lightly and the smile on her face doesn’t quite reach her eyes so he knows he won’t win her over, but she’s turning him into an optimist.

“You sure you don’t want to stay over? You’ve already claimed the guest room with the fancy window as your own anyway.” He tries again. “It’s all yours.”

She giggles and it’s a little sad, and shakes her head. “I gotta go.”

He sighs but nods. “Well at least let me know when you get home safe okay?” He says, pulling her toward him so that he can reach behind her and open her car door for her. He feels it when her heartbeat picks up in her chest and he’s inwardly thrilled at that fact because he knows it’s not because of fear this time. Hasn’t been for a while now.

After she promises to text him when she’s made it home, he stands there and watches her pull out of his driveway, running his fingers through his hair and pushing back the urge to follow her home, and doesn’t head inside until her headlights disappear down the road.

As of late though, it’s been increasingly impossible for him to get any face time with her and it drives him nuts because the rest of the Scooby gang has no problems invading his space and dirtying up thousand year old rugs that cost more than all their lives put together.

“What is _with_ you? Stefan says when he finds Damon lounging on the sofa, a bottle of bourbon he’s been nursing rests between his legs.

“I don’t know, Stefan. Maybe it’s the fact that Caroline has turned our house into her own personal twenty-four hour college kid kegar.” He says. “We’re getting low on bourbon and she hasn’t once offered to comp us for it.”

Stefan shakes his head and chuckles, sitting down next to his brother and snagging the bottle out of his hands before taking his own swig.

“Hey!” He snatches the bottle back. “Didn’t you just hear me say we’re running low? Go get your own.”

He smiles fondly at his big brother, resting his back against the couch cushions, their shoulders brushing lightly when Damon readjusts, putting one foot up on the coffee table.

“You sure that’s it? Because if you ask me, you’ve been wearing the sour face for far longer than that.” Stefan counters.

“We’ll it’s a good thing I’m _not_ asking you then isn’t it?” Damon shoots back.

“Something happen with Elena?” He asks, ignoring Damon’s snark.

He exhales and rolls his eyes before turning the bottle up again. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he eyes Stefan with an annoyed look. “Everything isn’t about _Elena._ ” He says. “Contrary to popular belief.”

Stefan raises his eyebrows with surprise but doesn’t comment on it. “So it’s Bonnie then.” He says. Not a question at all but more a statement of fact. At Damon’s silence, he continues. “Look, I know you wanted to be the one to get her back. And I know you feel guilty for not being able to do that but she’s _here._ She’s safe. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Their relationship over the past, well…century, hasn’t been the best but his intuition and devotion when it comes to Damon has never faltered and Damon will never admit this out loud but he sort of admires that about his brother. When he’s not being annoying about it.

“I know you two had your little bonding thing on The Other Side and as strange as it seems to me, I can tell it changed you. For the better. So whatever it is. You’ll get through it.” Stefan adds.

Damon lets that roll over in his head for a bit. He gets it. But at the same time, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be getting through, exactly. Stefan’s right. Bonnie is here. And Bonnie is as safe as a supernatural creature can be in Mystic Falls. But it just doesn’t seem like enough. He wants _more_ from her. Or maybe more _for_ her. He doesn’t fucking know.

He hears the front door open and Elena and Caroline come in laughing and giggling. Matt and Tyler trail behind them with arms full of bags of food and drinks. He hears Stefan chuckle beside him.

When Elena sees Damon on the sofa she comes over and sits on his lap, snuggling against his chest and plants a warm wet kiss to his lips. He wraps his arms around her and smiles.

“Have fun?” He asks her.

“Yeah, actually, we did. Caroline took me out to celebrate me acing my first undergrad semester.”

“Congratulations!” Stefan offers warmly.

“And let me guess.” Damon nods over to them setting up platters on his dinner table. “She’s planning a party too.” He says.

She laughs, a knowing look on her face. “I know. I promise this is the _last_ one.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Elena.” Caroline says where she’s taping sparkly streamers up on the wall.

“Where’s Bonnie?” Stefan asks and doesn’t miss the way his brothers body tenses at the question.

“Oh. She said she’d try to make it but I’m not sure. She’s still having a really hard time, I guess.”

Stefan nods and Damon hums.

“I gotta go help set up. You good?” She asks, directing her attention back to Damon.

When he nods, she gets up, planting another kiss to his cheek and heads to the kitchen.

Damon eyes his brother and then passes the bottle to him in a piece offering before standing. “You’re gonna need that tonight.” He says, making his way toward the stairs.

He texts Bonnie before he gets in the shower. There is no way he’s sitting through another one of these parties because if he sees one more college freshman spill punch on his furniture, they won’t make it to see sophomore year.

He knows Bonnie won’t show. She’s ditched the last two parties. If she is having a hard time, logically, it would seem like she’d want to talk about it. Or at least be around the people she loves and cares for. It doesn’t even have to be him, although preferred, but she’s not doing any of that. It eats at him. He can’t shake the feeling that she’s about to do something off the wall and crazy and he’s lived long enough that he’s usually right about these things.

After he’s fully dressed in a pair of black jeans and grey v-neck t-shirt, he checks his phone and still not a word from Bonnie. Fuck it. He’s had enough.

He’s at her front door within the hour ringing the bell and rocking back and forth on his feet. He knows she’s home because he can smell something cooking on the other side of the door and her heartbeat pounding just under the soft music playing.

When she opens the door, she’s got her hair pulled up in a messy bun and she’s wearing an oversized flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and something red smeared across the front. White fluffy socks cover her feet.

“So _clearly_ you weren’t even planning on joining the festivities at Casa Salvatore.” He says by way of greeting.”

“What are you doing here?” She asks, a confused frown on her face.

“I need a reason to stop by now?”

Her brow smooths out and she tilts her head, pursing her lips. “No. I just. I wasn’t expecting company, that’s all.”

“Well with me, you gotta learn to expect the unexpected.” He says. “Now you gonna let me in or…?”

She hesitates for a moment and he frowns, but she steps aside and waves her hand in invitation. He gladly steps over the threshold and shuts the door, watching her make her way back into the kitchen.

There’s a giant pot on the stove and a smaller saucepan beside it, red sauce bubbling away. She turns down the heat and adds a few seasonings to the pan before turning around to face him again and crossing her arms.

“What’s all this?” He asks, looking around at the mess she’s made. “Spaghetti?” he says, walking over and removing the lid from the giant pot to eye the boiling noodles.

“I don’t know. Just been working on a few of my Grams old recipes.”

“Wow. She cooks too.” He says with mock surprise.

She chuckles, heading over to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water. “Well, if I’ve learned _anything_ from being trapped on the other side with you. It’s that I need to learn to feed myself because…”

“Hey!” He cuts her off. “You _loved_ my pancakes.”

“Keep telling yourself that if it’ll help you sleep better at night.” She says, grinning at him before taking a sip of her water and placing it on the counter next to her.

He takes a seat at the bar in the center of the room while he watches her fuss over the stove and he can’t help but smile. He’s missed this. Just being alone with her and doing random, trivial things.

“Seriously though, Bon. Is everything okay with you? With…us?”

She pauses for a second, so quickly that anyone else would have missed it, and her heart does a little _skip-jump_ in her chest before she turns around to face him again.

“Everything is good. Why do you ask?”

“Come on, Bonnie. You gotta admit that you’ve been kinda distant lately. Not just with me, which, _ouch_ , by the way. But with Elena and Caroline too.”

“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a little?”

He gives her a knowing look and she ducks her head, swiping her foot back and forth over the linoleum floor.

“See!” He says accusingly. “Now spit it out. Tell me what’s going on.”

She sighs and leans back against the counter, crossing her legs at the ankles. “I don’t know, really. This is just. It seems like it’s too much and not enough at the same time. I mean, I’m so happy to be home. Thrilled, even. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing or who I am or where I fit anymore.”

He stands and walks over to her, turning the heat off on the stove before grabbing her hands. “Look at me.” He says. And when she does, he smiles at her. “You’re _Bonnie._ The most powerful and stubborn witch I’ve met since the 1800’s. You can do anything you want. You’re _home._ ”

Pulling her hands from his grasp, she turns to grab the pot of noodles off the stove and carries them over to the sink to drain. “I know.” She says, her back to him. “But I just need time. To. I don’t know. Find my groove again.”

“Am I not a part of your _groove_?” He asks. “I mean, I thought we were getting through it together.”

“Yeah but this is _different_ , Damon. I can’t really explain it but I’m trying, okay? And once I work through this..”

“You’ll stop avoiding me?” He finishes for her.

She turns around to face him again and there are unshed tears shining in her eyes. He aches to be closer to her so he goes, standing directly in front of her again. “Is that your only reason for avoiding me? You just needing to get used to the living world again?”

“Do I need a better one?”

“I’m just wondering what happened to _my_ Bonnie! The one who danced with me and laughed on occasion. The one who was so excited to be here.”

“Things are different now, Damon. This isn’t like when we were trapped in 1994. I have things to do, classes to register for. And you have Elena.” She says, no longer meeting his eyes.

He steps closer to her, letting his hands slide down her arms and squeeze. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Ugh” She groans, disentangling herself from him again to grab the noodles, carrying them over to dump in a different pan before grabbing the saucepot and pouring her tomato sauce over the noodles. “Why can’t you just take it for what it is?”

“Because you’re _lying_ to me Bonnie!” He pauses. “Does this have anything to do with Elena? Did she say something to you? Because –“

“I’m leaving, Damon.” She blurts out.

“What?”

She drops the pan back on the stove and crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m leaving.” She repeats.

His mouth is open, he’s licking his lips over and over with his arms spread out at his sides. “Okay.” He finally manages. “Leaving to go where, exactly?”

“I don’t know yet. Everywhere?”

“Everywhere?” He frowns. “Vague.”

She sighs. “You know what I mean.”

“And were you planning on telling me that?”

“Yes! I would have told you eventually.”

“What, in a note stuck to my car? ‘ _Hey, Damon. Thanks for the company in ’94. Have a nice life.’_ ”

“Okay, now you’re _really_ being dramatic.” She says, rolling her eyes.

“And you’re being a shitty friend!” He shoots back.

“ I think I deserve to be a little selfish, don’t you?” She says. “I need a break! That’s all.”

“Well why don’t you just say that, huh? I can help you. I’ve been all over the world. Just name a place and I’ll gladly take you there myself.” At her silence, he pauses and chews on his bottom lip. “You mean you need a break from me, don’t you?” He says knowingly.

“Not _just_ from you. But from _everything._ I deserve to live my life, Damon. And I can’t do that here. Who knows when the next Big Bad is gonna roll through town and then my neck is on the chopping block _again.”_ She sighs and looks at him pleading. “I can’t do that again. And I _won’t.”_

“I get it, Bonnie. Believe me I do. Hell, I’m the reason for most of your pain. But I’ve _changed¸_ Bonnie. I swear I have. And I’ll never put you in a position to have to choose between your life and someone elses again. Just....don’t leave.”

She smiles at him but it’s sad, and when the tears start to flow he can’t help but go to her, grabbing her face and brushing them away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry.”

“I know. And you know I’m thankful that you protected me and I see that you’re different now.” She says, holding his wrists where his hands are cradling her face. “But this isn’t about you. I’m making this about me for a change.”

He nods, anguish in his eyes. “But…I…”

Closing her eyes then, she feels fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. “I know.”

She feels him step in closer, leaning down so his forehead is pressed against her own, his breath cool against her lips as they breathe each others air.

“I don’t know what you want me to do here, Bonnie.” He whispers.

She exhales, feeling him tremble against her. “Just let me go…”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! Thanks to everyone who read, liked, and reviewed this story! I still consider myself a new writer so I'm always surprised when people actually like my work!
> 
> This is the last chapter and it's a little longer than all the others and I hope that's okay. There is smut in this chapter as well so if that's not your thing, proceed with caution. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this story.

** IIII IIII **

After one year of travel, Bonnie still feels like she’s just getting started. It’s freeing, really. Not having any roots grounded, nothing to tether her to one specific thing or place. She’s got a full list of things she wants to do and places she wants to see. And with a full bank account and nothing else to do but enjoy it, she plans on checking off every single item on that list. It’s surreal sometimes. The fact that she _actually_ did it. She’d kept her promise to herself to just _live_ and be happy. Back home she’d felt suffocated and used. Underappreciated and taken for granted. And although she misses her friends like hell, she needed to find herself _more._

She’s been in Paris for three days and she thinks she’ll give it another two before she drifts off somewhere else. She’s done most of the basic touristy stuff. The Eiffel Tower and Luxembourg Gardens. Dined on buttery garlic escargot and macaroons. Her days pass easy enough, filled with unending possibilities and people bustling around talking and laughing animatedly. The sunrays warm her skin and glows bright red behind her eyelids where she likes to lounge out on the terrace of her deluxe suite. Her magic sings as she inhales deeply, the sweet, syrupy scent of pink cherry-blossoms invade her nostrils and she hums happily.

When night falls and the city quiets, and she has nothing else to do but let her mind wonder, is when she lets the darker thoughts flow through. The loneliness of traveling by herself makes her feel cold and even though she’s met several people along the way that have more than peaked her interest, it’s never a permanent thing. They satisfy her need for intimate touch or fulfilling conversation and then it’s over. She’s alone.

Meditation helps, especially with the quiet of the night. She’s learned to control her thoughts to a certain extent. Instead of just letting it fall down a rabbit hole she focuses on the positives. Focuses on why she’s doing this and how worthy she is of this expedition.

She talks to Caroline a few times a month, mostly because Caroline still can’t let go and won’t let Bonnie go longer than that before she’s threatening to send out a search party. But it’s nice though, knowing that even after a year that she’s not forgotten and that she’s still missed. She talks to Elena less often. According to Caroline, she’s now studying at the Perelman School of Medicine at UPENN and doesn’t have a lot of free time on her hands anymore.

“Are you ever coming home?”

It’s the first thing Caroline asks her each time she calls which is one of the reasons she keeps them so few and far between. Yes, Mystic Falls will always have a spot in her heart. It’s where she grew up and it’s where she met her oldest and closest friends. But when she thinks about going back there, the town full of carniage and bloodshed. The town where her father and Grams died. Where her mother abandoned her. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever see that place as her permanent home.

“I don’t know, Caroline.” Bonnie sighs, brushing lint off her high waisted khaki shorts where she sits outside of Le Cadoret Bistro at a tiny little wrought iron table next to the garden. Her tea sits in front of her untouched, and she readjusts her floppy, brown sun hat with her other hand. “I told you. I’m not done yet.”

“Done with what, Bonnie?

She finally takes a sip of her tea and savors the minty notes on her tongue. “I don’t know. Living. Exploring.”

“I just miss you so much. We all do.” Caroline sighs loud.

 _All._ As in everyone. But she’s yet to hear from the one person she thought she would.

Bonnie bites her tongue hard because she fights herself not to ask the question. Every time Caroline gives her an update on all the things she’s missing while abroad, she always wonders about Damon. How he’s doing and if he even asks about her.

She’s sent him letters and even tried to call him over the past year and it’s been radio silence. She should have expected it. Out of sight, out of mind. But with the way he’d fought her over her decision to leave, she kind of expected at least a post card.

She doesn’t like to think about that last night she’d seen him when he’d showed up unexpectedly at her door a year ago. It broke her heart and she’d felt like her soul was splitting in two. He’d cried as he held her against him, their foreheads pressed together in the middle of her kitchen. He’d told her that he loved her and begged her to stay but it wasn’t enough for her. Yes, they’d become best friends in a very unconventional way, but she wanted more. She couldn’t tell him that and she didn’t want to. Elena is his forever love and she’d never try to get in the way of that. Not that she thought she ever could, it’s no contest. But the intensity in his eyes as he pleaded with her not to go was gut wrenching and confusing. She couldn’t’ handle it. No one has _ever_ cried for her like that while being in love with someone else. It was a recipe for disaster and she had been sure that she’d be cleaning up the wreckage on her own. Left to pick up the pieces and put them back together as best she could.

They’d fought that night. He’d screamed at the top of his lungs, accusing her of running away, abandoning him and the life she’d built in Mystic Falls. She’d ripped him apart and torn him to pieces with a few accusations of her own. Condemning him to being a self centered asshole who only cared about his own needs and not giving a fuck that she was crumbling and broken. He’d crowded her against her kitchen counter and screamed in her face and she’d given it right back to him ten fold.

And then. He’d given up this _sound._ Raw and gritty in the back of his throat, pressing himself against her from chest to knee, his breath coming out fast and heavy. A guttural sound that she’ll never forget. And he was kissing her. Rough and hungry, his lips suddenly pressed to hers and the shock of it made her inhale and moan and he just ate it up and swallowed it down. The fingers he’d had tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck were firm and commanding and she’d had no choice but to fall, crumpling the fabric of his t-shirt between her fingers at his hips, and held on for dear life. It was frantic and desperate, heated and impatient the way he’d sucked on her tongue and ate at her lips. And after the shock had worn off and he’d tasted his fill, he’d softened it. Slowing down and savoring her. The way he’d used his tongue to explore her mouth made her knees weak and her body burn hot. There was no more denying what she’d tried so hard not to admit. She was in love with Damon and there was nothing that she could do about it. She’d known it was coming but she hadn’t expected it to go down like that.

So she’d just taken it for what it was. Their final goodbye. One for the road, one final parting gift from the man that had tormented her and then licked her wounds clean. She’d earned it. And after they’d finally pulled back for air, he’d placed one final kiss, right in the center of her forehead, and disappeared.

“How is he?” She asks, hesitation in her tone.

Caroline is quiet on the other end and Bonnie’s heart sinks into her stomach.

“Honestly. I have no idea.” Caroline offers, not even needing a confirmation as to who Bonnie’s referring to. “After you left he kinda fell apart. Disappearing for weeks at a time and coming back more of a mess than when he left.”

“What about Elena? She hasn’t told me any of this.”

“It’s because she _knows,_ Bonnie.”

She frowns, dropping a few bills on the table and standing to make her way back to her room. “Knows what?”

“Come on, Bonnie. We all saw it.” She says. “He was crazy when you sent him back here. Elena saw it and Stefan saw it.”

Bonnie feels her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “Wow.”

“ I really don’t know what happened with you two on the other side but it changed him. And as much as I hate to admit it. You made him better. And when you left. He went off the rails.”

“So… are they…” She starts.

“I don’t know.” Caroline cuts her off. “Last I heard, they were still together but that’s been months ago.”

She’s walking down the street in one of the most beautiful places on the planet and supposed to not have a care in the world but she feels sick to her stomach. “Wh…why hasn’t anyone told me about this?”

Caroline scoffs. “ _Because,_ Bonnie. You made it clear that you didn’t want to deal with the drama here. And believe me, no one blames you for that. None of us deserve happiness more than you do. We didn’t want it to be yet another thing that you had to deal with.”

“So…have you seen him?”

“No. Stefan’s talked to him here and there but he stays gone mostly.” She sighs. “Look. I know you two had your _thing_ on The Other Side, whatever that means, but this is why I try to keep Damon in the ‘do not discuss’ pile. I don’t want you to get all… _Bonnie_ about this.”

“I’m not, really. It’s just…surprising is all.” She says, digging around in her purse for her room key and when she opens her door, she leaves her bag on the floor and drops to her bed exhaling. “I mean. I haven’t heard from him since I left.”

“No shocker there.”

She feels the familiar knot of rejection in her gut and she’s not going to do this right now. Running her hand across her eyes to clear them, she exhales tiredly. “Hey. I really need to shower but I promise to check in later, okay?”

Caroline wants to keep her on the phone, knowing Bonnie’s mood has plummeted but she’s not gonna push her. “I’m gonna hold you to that, lady.” Caroline says instead. “I love you.”

Bonnie smiles. “Love you too, Care…” And she means it…

Two months later, she finds herself in South Africa and it’s probably on her top ten favorites list. It feels like the ground she walks there talks to her. Nature around her seems to reach out and sigh around her. She’s been working on her magic a lot more and it’s satisfying to know that there is no barrier spell or desiccation spell that she has to work on. Just basic nature and meditation spells. She’s feels like she is one with her magic now instead of the push and pull she’d felt before.

She’s taken a few cooking classes and met some of the nicest people she’s come across in a while. Her tour guide has been her savior, taking her to some of the smaller markets around town where the atmosphere is snug and cozy. She likes to spend her mornings there, strolling leisurely and enjoying the smiling faces around her.

She smells the strong odor from the fish traders in the center of the market but it doesn’t bother her much. It’s so authentic and fresh and she just let’s herself enjoy. Pulling off her sunglasses and tucking them inside her shoulder bag, she eyes the various stations set up. The butcher sits to her left and the florist not far behind that. Various colors of roses and tulips sit in bunches in front of the stand. She recognizes some of the more exotic flowers her guide had pointed out to her on their tour earlier in the day, like the Iceland Poppies and Fynbos. She makes a note to herself to pick up a few bouquets before she leaves.

There’s a cart set up to her right with various colorful fabrics and linens folded neatly on the counters. Beads and talismans hang from hooks on the wall behind that. She walks up to the cart and the woman behind the counter smiles back at her warmly, picking up a scrap of fabric, thin and flowing with abstract prints and mixed oranges and blues cascading in different patterns, she extends her hand to Bonnie in offering. Bonnie runs her fingers over the fabric and loves the smooth feel of textures against her fingertips. Holding it up to her body, she loves the way the colors look against her skin. She ends up buying that and a few additional pieces and trinkets before moving on.

When the sun starts to set lower in the sky, she decides it’s time to eat. It’s very easy for her to forget when she has so much to explore in front of her but now that it’s caught her attention, she feels her stomach growl.

She decides on Kyoto. A small deli next to the ocean. They have outdoor seating and if she’s able to get the table toward the back of the building, she can actually watch the sun set while she enjoys her meal.

When she opens the door, the smell of fresh baked bread and honey attack her nostrils and her mouth waters. Micah smiles at her over the glass cased filled with muffins and rolls when she walks in.

“Ms. Bonnie!” He says excitedly. “Didn’t expect you today. You’re okay, yes?”

She nods at him, making her way to the counter. “Yes, I’m well, Micah.” She says, placing her hand in his so that he bends and places his customary kiss to the skin on the back of her hand. “I know I usually see you later in the week but I’ve been _very_ busy today and needed something hearty.”

He chuckles. “Got just the thing for you, sweetheart.” He says. “The Gatsby?”

She visits his shop once or twice a week but usually gets the soup of the day and warm bread but she’s barely eaten all day and would love something to fill her up. The Gatsby is basically tons of meat and fries with lettuce and tomatoes smashed between a crusty Italian roll.

Scrunching her nose up, she tilts her head trying weigh her options. “Maybe I should get a half Gatsby, work my way up to the full.” She finally decides.

“Good choice.” Micah smiles. “Coming right up.”

The sun is already starting to set when she gets her food and takes it to her preferred table. The light is casting shadows in the sky, leaving streaks of pink and purple shining through the clouds and making the sky look like the most beautiful painting she’s ever seen.

Taking her knife, she cut’s her sandwich in half again before bringing one half to her lips and taking the biggest bite she can. The combination of grease from the fries and the crispy crunch of lettuce make her close her eyes and hum. She hadn’t realized just how hungry she was until just now. She chews slowly and savors the flavors on her tongue, watching the way the sunrays bounce off the ocean and make it sparkle. She could get used to this.

“Is this seat taken?”

She almost chokes on her own tongue when she hears the low and familiar voice floating over her shoulder from behind her.

 _No._ She thinks frantically. This isn’t happening.

She turns around in her chair, her eyes already wide and shocked when she meets his. The icy blue orbs deep enough for her to drown in. And he’s right here. In South Africa. Towering over her and actually smiling down at her, wide and joyous.

She still hasn’t answered his question, struck dumb at his sudden appearance. Her mouth hangs open and she hasn’t taken a breath in at least five seconds.

Instead of waiting for her response, he finally moves, pulling out the chair across from her and takes a seat. Her eyes following his every move.

He reaches across the table and snags her lemon water, condensation droplets trail down the glass and get lost behind his fingertips when he brings the glass to his lips and takes a sip, seemingly waiting for her to brain to come back online.

“Wh…what the hell…” She tries.

“I missed you.” He says matter-of-factly, leaning back in his chair and letting his eyes roam her face, cataloging the changes in her appearance.

She’s cut her hair in a short bob and there are little streaks of gold and blonde scattered here and there. Her skin is more of a deep bronze instead of the soft mocha that he’s used to and her eyes are more bright and vibrant than he’s ever seen them. She’s slimmer but still holds her curves and as he eyes the shape of her breasts underneath her sundress, it makes him lick his lips reflexively.

“You…” She stops and frowns trying to compute the words in her head. “You _missed me?”_ She finishes.

“Yes. Is that so hard to imagine?

Her head is going to explode because… _what?_

“Well. Considering the fact that I’ve been reaching out to you with no response. _Yes!_ It’s _absolutely_ hard to imagine. What the hell is this? How did you even find me?”

“I always knew where you were.” He shrugs like this is all normal.

“ _Excuse_ me?”

He leans forward, resting his forearms on her table. “I have abandonment issues. You know that. I had to keep tabs on you. Make sure you were okay.”

She’s two seconds from bursting his brain right here at this quaint little bistro because where the hell does he get off?

Taking a few deep breaths, she fights to quell her rage. “So let me get this straight.” She starts, her voice low and acidic. “Not only did you _choose_ to ignore me for a full year. But you’ve been stalking me too?”

He sighs heavily. This is definitely not how he’d expected this to go. “Come on, Bonnie. You know it’s not like that. You make it sound so… _creepy.”_

“How am I supposed to know what it’s like, huh?” She’s feels herself loosing control. Her voice is trembling and she hates it. “You _kiss_ me. Tell me you _love_ me…” She will _not_ cry. “And then… _nothing._ You’re a ghost in the wind and I’m left confused as usual with you.”

Her voice is well above a whisper by the time she finishes speaking and Damon looks around, eyeing various people looking back and forth between the two of them and whispering things to one another.

He leans further across the table and lowers his lashes, speaking softly to her. “Okay, look. Let’s go walk on the beach. Just give me a chance to explain myself.”

Her arms are crossed tightly over her chest and her breath is coming heavy and maybe he should have thought this through a little better.

“Please, Bonnie.” He tries again. “Five minutes.”

She glares at him for a long moment and he thinks that he’s lost his chance. But then she graciously unfolds her arms and stands and he’s right behind her. Letting her lead them around the side of the building and down the stairs toward the water.

When they get to the sand, she removes her sandals and places them in her bag and leaves it by the stairs before venturing out further, feeling Damon’s presence behind her and the sand in her toes. She stops when she gets to the edge of the ocean, the cool water sweeping across her feet and up to her ankles.

The sun has finally set and the combination of stars and city lights cast a soft white glow over the ocean and most of the way up the beach. When she turns, she finds Damon standing there, a few inches of space left between them. The artificial light from the streetlamps set up on the dock make him look pale and almost angelic, more beautiful than she’d remembered. His hair is a bit longer, falling over his eyes when the wind rustles it. His eyes are piercing and his lips are slightly parted, wet and red. There’s stubble over his cheeks and across his upper lip and she guesses it’s been a few weeks since he’s shaved and despite all that, he still looks like an Adonis.

To the world, he’s the picture of relaxed with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his black jeans and his stance loose. But she sees the tightness around his shoulders and the way he keeps swallowing over and over again and she knows he’s just as frazzled as she is.

“Clocks ticking, Damon.” She says when he doesn’t make a move to speak.

He makes an aborted move like he wants to step closer to her but thinks better of it. Planting his feet firmly in place. His black leather boots pressed into the sand.

“Bonnie…”

He starts and doesn’t really know what to say or where to begin. The fact that he’s really talking to her after an entire year is insane and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get the courage to do it. But now…

“I wanted to reach out to you. Believe me, I did. But…”

“But what?” She pushes.

“I’m not a strong man, Bonnie.”

“What does that have to do with anything, Damon? Would it have killed you to at least let me know that you were okay? I had to hear from Caroline that you’d gone off the rails.”

Fire sparks behind his eyes then and she sees the muscles in his jaw clenching as he grits his teeth. Maybe he wasn’t expecting her to have known that particular bit of information.

“That’s my point, Bonnie…” He says, shaking his head slow. “I lost it when you left. And I didn’t know how to handle it other than lashing out so I just…disappeared.”

“That’s no excuse, Damon...”

“It’s not an excuse. It’s the truth.” He says, pushing both hands up and through his hair to push it back. “I was weak. And if I’d reached out to you, who knows what I would have said or done. Do you know how hard it was to let you go? The amount of strength it took for me not to come get you and drag you back home?”

He steps a little closer to her and her breath stutters with anticipation.

“I realized that when you’re not around I don’t know who I am anymore. And that scared me.” He sighs. “I alienated everyone around me. Even Elena. So much so that she broke up with me and left town.” He chuckles, but it’s bitter.

When he hears her surprised huff of breath he shakes his head. “It was a while ago. We’ve all had time to get over it. And besides, it was inevitable and we both saw it coming. Things just weren’t the same after I got back.”

She doesn’t know how to even process this. Although she’d suspected it, she still never really let herself believe that there could be a version of Damon without Elena.

“I hated letting you go but you deserve to be happy, Bonnie. And maybe if I’d been a better man, I could have been that for you. But I wasn’t enough. And I get that.” He looks out behind her across the water and imagines that they’re the only two in the world. “I was all over the place and I just figured it be better this way.”

She feels the tears start to swell in her eyes. “But did you stop to think how that would make _me_ feel?”

He ducks his head and thinks for a second before looking back to her, his lids lowered. “If we’d dragged out the goodbye, it wouldn’t have done either of us any good. A clean break is much better than a slow, agonizing one.”

He’s right. She knew that she couldn’t do this with one foot in Mystic Falls. She wouldn’t have gotten as far as she did and would have probably cut her adventure short on top of it. Still. It doesn’t hurt any less.

“So why are you here now?

Stepping closer still, he doesn’t stop until he’s a mere arms length away. The thin silver necklace resting against her skin catches his eye and he can see her pulse thumping wildly in that little spot between where her shoulder ends and her neck begins. She still smells _so_ good and he wants her in his arms.

“I told you…I missed you.”

She feels it when the tears start to fall and she shakes her head. His face crumples and he finally erases the mere space left between them, cradling her face the same way he’d done all those months ago, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. “Shhhh…” He soothes. “Don’t cry…”

Her heart lurches in her chest, the feel of his hands on her skin again sets her on fire and everything she’d fought to forget comes rushing back to the surface. She missed him so much and it’s almost overwhelming being this close to him again. She’s no longer crying but her breath still comes heavy because he’s watching her with an intensity that is entirely Damon. Searching for any indication that she doesn’t want this and when he finds none, he leans down, so close that his nose is brushing against her own.

“In case you didn’t know…you’re kinda hard to forget...” He whispers against her lips before diving in and claiming her mouth.

This. This and only this forever is what he wants. The way she opens for him immediately and lets him find a home in the cradle of her lips makes him groan and he reaches out to wrap both arms around her waist and pull her flush with his body. Her warmth bleeds through his shirt when she pushes up on her toes and her breasts are pressed against his chest. She wraps her arms around his neck and threads her fingers through his hair making him shiver.

“ _Jesus…”_ He whispers through labored breaths when they pull back just enough to be able to look into the others eyes and he thrills to know that she’s just as breathless. “You have no idea…”

They’re tearing at each other with a frenzy. She’s already tugging at his shirt, low on his belly, before they even get to her villa and when his back hits the hard wood, he just reaches behind him and twists the knob, popping the lock with a slight flex of his hand, not even patient enough to release Bonnie’s lips long enough for her to hunt for her key.

When the door swings open and they tumble inside, he has the presence of mind to kick it shut again as she pushes them further into the room. She tugs at the collar of his shirt until the buttons pop off and scatter all over the floor. Her hands sweep over his chest and stomach as he struggles to get the little thin straps of her dress down and hanging around her elbows so that her breasts are exposed to him. Only then does he release her lips to kiss at the soft skin of her shoulders and suck on her breasts, beautiful brown nipples already pebbled as he circles his tongue around one, and then switches to the other while she tugs at his hair and moans into the air.

She pushes his ruined shirt down until it falls to the floor before releasing her arms from her dress and shimmying her hips so that it falls in a pool at her feet. He grabs her again, low on her waist and tugs her toward him and they’re kissing again. He lifts her easily, wrapping her legs around his waist and starts to walk them backwards toward the bed. When the scent of her arousal hits him he whines against her lips tearing away from the kiss to catch his breath.

“Fuck…” He growls between them.

When the backs of his knees meet the mattress, he turns and carefully lays her down, following closely behind and pressing his front against her naked chest. He uses the opportunity to taste every part of her, starting with the warm spot on her neck, just under her ear. Licking and sucking there, a small smile tugging at his lips when he feels her squirm underneath him.

He drags his mouth down her chest to lick and bite at her breasts.

“Please, Damon…” She begs, tugging at his hair almost painfully and he loves it but continues to take it slow.

He presses soft kisses down the expanse of her belly and when he reaches her waistband, he lets his fingers follow the trail until he can tuck them inside her lacey panties to pull them down. Once her legs are free, she immediately opens them for him and he happily obliges, sliding down and throwing both of her legs over his shoulders. He uses his tongue to draw a long wet line over her slit and she gasps, he moans. He takes his time with her, tasting her thoroughly and using the sound of her cries as his guide. She’s so eager, so responsive to every little touch.

Her voice is low and throaty when she moans his name, letting it float out into the air and his dick presses almost painfully against his jeans but he doesn’t care because she tastes as good as she smells. When she starts to squirm, raising her back up off the bed and clenching her fists in the sheets, he holds her down, fingers firm on her hips, and licks her through her first orgasm.

When her breath slows and the sweat starts to dry on her skin, he works open his jeans and kicks them off along with his shoes, the last pieces of fabric between them. Sliding up her body, he makes sure to pepper kisses to her hips where he sees bruises already starting to develop, and all the way up until he reaches her lips again, opening up and letting her taste herself on his tongue.

Her legs are high on his hips, trapping him where she wants him. He pins her to the bed, lacing their fingers together, arched above her head. She feels him teasing at her entrance, she gasps, and he soothes her with his lips pressed to her cheeks, her forehead, and her eyelid as he enters her, sliding easily inside, her slippery wet heat swallowing him.

The noise that tumbles from his lips is devastating and beautiful and she feels so full and thourougly cherished in this moment. He moves inside her slow, grinding his hips and pushing in so deep that her eyes nearly roll up in her head. She’s heard the stories, but never, in her wildest dreams could she have ever imagined….

His grip on her hands is lazy as he moves inside her, mumbling words of pleasure and praise against her lips. The sound of her name on repeat, low and agonizing, makes her close her eyes. It’s too intense, all consuming and nothing compares to it. She feels the heat low in her belly now and she knows she’s not going to last much longer. Her breath starts to come heavier and she’s moaning louder now, her legs are starting to tremble. He can feel her soaking him and making him grit his teeth as he pushes inside her over and over again, drawing her closer and closer to her second orgasm.

She spills first, mouth open wide in a silent cry of release as her muscles clench and squeeze over and over again. He follows behind her, _one, two, three…._ and he’s burying his face in her neck as his orgasm slams into him and makes his vision black out.

They lie there for a long while, face to face, and breathing softly. Bonnie has most of the blankets tucked tightly around her, the cool air from the balcony doors she’d left open make the drying sweat on her skin feel cool and she shivers.

Damon has a soft look on his face, one she’s not so familiar with. His eyes are lighter and the corner of his mouth is pulled up, facsimile of a smirk, and as he blinks he looks almost sedated.

“What’s that face?” She asks, her voice low between them.

He eyes her for a moment, intense like he’s trying to crack some mystery. “What face?” He asks, feigning innocence.

She frowns at him, kicking at his feet lightly where they’re tangled together. “ _That_ face.” She says.

He finally lets the grin pull across his mouth, pearly white teeth shine behind his swollen, red lips and he answers her simply. “I’m happy…”

And its absolute, no denying it. She lets it tug at her heart until she has no choice but to giggle happily for the first time in a long time, and she lets herself feel happiness too.

He pulls her in, against his chest and almost on top of him and she yelps. Lifting his head he kisses her, soft and quick this time before resting his head back on his pillow.

“I love you, Bonnie.”

For the millionth time tonight, he’s stolen her breath away. She doesn’t know where this is going or how this will play out. But she can’t deny the fact that for the first time. _Everything_ feels right. Being tucked against him and sharing his space makes her feel safe. The way he touches her makes her feel cherished. When he looks at her, the heat in his eyes makes her toes tingle. And she’s absolutely sure about one thing…

“I love you too.”

A new flood of anticipation washes over her as she rests her head on his chest, tucked underneath his chin. Whatever voice in the back of her head that was trying to tell her to deny what she’d felt for him is long gone. Because she realizes now that this is the thing she’d been missing all along.

“So, what’s the next stop on the list?” He asks, his fingers stroking lightly on her back.

She hums. “I don’t know…you pick.” She says, sounding content.

He pulls her so that she’s fully on top of him now, her hands resting loosely on his chest and looks her in the eyes. “I like the sound of that.” He says before bringing their lips together in another bruising kiss.


End file.
